Saturday, April 5, 2014

Perfect Life? Or Better Actress?

We live in an era where we know of people but we don't really know them. We see their gorgeous houses, lavish vacations, beautiful children, great paying jobs, fun relationships, and overall wonderful lives. What we don't see is all the hurt, all the struggle, worry, pain, fear, and other negative emotions we humans go through.  If all of your insecurities, fears, threats, angst, anxiety, and psychological issues seem more prominent you can blame social media for that.

In the past 2 years I have visited and lived in some of the most amazing and beautiful places in the world. I will graduate with my MBA in international business in June; that allowed me to move to Rome for a year -- or longer if chose. I decided to move to New York City, where my schools main campus is located, to finish my degree and look for a job. I currently live in an apartment building on the most famous and influential street in the world, with a 24/7 doorman, and every amenity you could think of sin a pool. Bare with me, this is not a brag fest, I have a point. Rent is rather expensive -- in relation to Houston TX but my fun and fabulous roommate mostly makes up for it. Overall I am abundantly blessed and have no reason to complain. 

Despite what the previous paragraph stated I am NOT perfect and my life is NOT perfect I am just a better actress than most.

Depending on the day or week I, like many people, go through a plethora of emotions. I cry, I get sad, I worry -- about so many things, I get angry, I get hurt, and a little jealous sometimes. That last one I was debating on typing... but i'm trying to be honest and help someone lol.  

Though I go through those emotions GUARANTEE YOU that you will not see any of them on MY Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. Mainly because I don't like people in my business. In addition to that I don't want to show people I don't have it together all the time. After all, having a perfect image seems to be the essence of American culture. Why? We are scared of people judging us for our problems and issues so we either cover them up and/or don't talk about them.

I was having an insecure moment and started to compare myself to someone. This is what one of my wonderful friends told me:

FIRST! Darling, sweetheart, sugar. People exaggerate on social media SECOND, you have ALL the people you NEED in your life now and you will gain more MEANINGFUL friends after. THIRD your time is not her time nor is her time yours. 
Smile, do what makes you happy and people will gravitate to it! 
That is absolutely lovely advice and it applies to anyone!

On another occasion I was annoyed about someone, that I'm not necessarily friends with, getting a job. To me their seemed SOOOOO PERFECT. It was nice that they had that job and all but I wanted a job at the same place.

THEN I had a "come to Jesus", "don't be stupid", "Ashleigh get your life" type moment. I realized that the path this person was going on was truly not something I wanted to do. I also realized and thought to myself "Ashleigh some people think the same thing about you." Then I thought "but my life isn't perfect though" and was a bit confused as to why someone would think that. I realized it is because all my posts make my like look like a constant vacation. (see below)

It was quite funny to me when I was gathering these pictures because I was thinking that it is so easy to get caught up.

And again, what you don't see are all the things I struggle with. Don't be mistaken though, I am an overall happy person BUT we ALL have something we deal with. All the "must be nice comments" get old after a while -- don't be that person. I always say "life is about decisions". If you want to travel then TRAVEL, if you want to buy a house BUY A HOUSE, if you want to do whatever then DO WHATEVER. Figure out a way to do it and make an action plan but WHATEVER you do DO NOT compare your SELF, your LIFE, or your SITUATION to anyone else's because it will stifle your growth and potential. All of our lifes' triumphs and defeats are ours and only ours. There is nothing to compare except the person you were yesterday to the person you are today.

In the end we can stay in a space where we blame social media for ALL of our insecurities; if we want to grow, develop, and improve our quality of life we need to realize all of our insecurities, fears, and issues start and end with us.I am sure that if you knew what I or someone else struggled with you would not want to trade places. I believe that is true of whomever you decide to compare yourself to.

This post is not to encourage you to share all of your problems, vices, and hardships via social media. THIS POST is to help you realize that what you see on social media is only PART of the story. You will never know the full story so DO NOT judge yourself, or anyone else, and make decisions based on an incomplete or fairy tale version of someone else's story; it is counter productive.

I truly hope this helped someone. We only have one life so don't waste it feeling insecure about yours.


 Always Stay Beautiful 

Buona Sera!

Instagram AshleighChanel  
Pinterest AshleighChanel

and don't forget to feed my fish below please :) (just click on the water)